ok! so, it seems that what a woman wants out of a relationship (sexual, friends, lovers, partners, spouses) is truly secondary to the desires and most importantly TIMING of men. GAHHH!! why is it that when I like a guy, they avoid the subject or play coy (and lemme tell ya, I'm pretty straight-forward, aka NOT HARD TO FIGURE OUT)?? why is it that when I like said guy, it's the wrong time or he likes somebody else or blah blah blah. there was a CONNECTION! but no... now that i've spent YEARS getting over said guy? and also suffered a pretty awful witnessing-him-making-out-with-girl-who-is-not-me event, he magically LIKES ME?! is this some kind of sick joke, Universe? because I don't get it!!
I do not like this individual LIKE THAT anymore. it's over, and there's no going back. once i lose the hots for a person, my libido refuses to go back in time and try again; it's like my sex drive's way of ensuring that i don't repeat the same mistakeerrrrr... guy over and over again. it's kinda nice, the way my sex drive has my back like that. because GUYS??? they suck. they like to hem and haw when the lady is putting it all out there! but as soon as she's turned her back... he pursues. and it's horrible and awkward and melodramatic. ugh. and really?? i'm not the kind of person who likes to be pursued. hell i'd rather be the person doing the pursuing! but really, what about reciprocity? what about two (or more?) people taking turns reaching out to each other, taking little steps toward each other, and it's mutual. that's what i want. so guys? cut this shit out. treat me like a human, and if i LIKE you, trust me you'll notice. RANT OVER.
Day seven. TRAGEDY STRIKES.
17 hours ago